Wedding Plans Plus

Buying Guide for Beautiful Bridesmaid's Gowns

by Phyllis Cambria

Old joke. Long-married man to friend. "I was looking at our wedding pictures the other day and I finally realized why my wife looked so beautiful on our wedding day. She picked hideous bridesmaid gowns so she'd look better than her friends by comparison."

It's your wedding and you want to shine as the "star" on your big day. But don't do it at the expense of your friends.

Ask women who have served in the bridal party of a friend or family member and most will give you a horror story about one or more dreadful bridesmaid's gowns the brides asked them to wear at the wedding.

Until recently bridal attendant's gowns ranged from horrendous to simply awful. Hoop skirts, silk flowers, tacky beading, childish bows and sherbet colors that are never worn on a female over the age of ten were the rage.

I remember one attendant dress a friend chose for me and the others in the bridal party to wear just a few years ago. It was Pepto-Bismol pink, had a huge, cheap-looking, floral, fabric "rose" with hot pink sequins in the middle attached to a wide sash across our chest and which came to rest on the hip , a three-tiered, flared satin skirt. There weren't delicate spaghetti straps but rather a two-inch wide strip of fabric which cut our shoulders in half.

When the doors opened and we began to walk down the aisle, there was audible tittering and giggles. At the reception, mutual friends offered their sympathy and asked what we had done to make the bride hate us so much.

I tried to sell the $300 dress in a consignment shop for $50 but after six months, they returned it. I then donated it to a thrift shop and a year later it was still hanging on the rack. I think they just scrapped it after that.

Thank goodness designers (many who probably suffered through a stint in a bridal party) are fabricating outfits that generally are more flattering to women and, often, can be worn again. Although there are still dresses that seem more of a punishment to the women who wear them than a treat.

When asking someone to serve on your bridal party, it should be a honor and not something your attendant have to survive at the sake of their dignity and possible vanity.

Here are some suggestions for choosing a gown that will flatter your attendants and delight the wearer.

• Ask your attendants' input on styles they like.

• If they can't agree on a style, either allow them to select their own dress from several compatible designs or choose a style, such as one with an empire waist and A-line skirt which tend to flatter most women. You can often find two-piece dresses that come with a variety of options so your friends can wear something that suits their body type and preferences but still look uniform.

• Select a color that will not only look good with the coloring of all your attendants, but is one they will likely be able to use again such as a dark shade of burgundy, gray, green, blue, brown or black. If you must go with a pastel, think pale shades of blue, silver, gold, tan, green, ivory, pink or peach.

• Remember, less is more. Simple, classic styles will be more adaptable for other wearings and will last for years.

• Think twice before considering a strapless dress or other neckline that would prohibit the use of a bra, especially when you're dealing with well-endowed, small-sized, overweight, older women or anyone who benefits from the structure of a good foundation garment.

• If the gown will require the use of a specialty bra, corset or other foundation piece, consider that price when you're deciding the gown since that will factor in how much your attendants will have to pay. And don't forget to add in the cost of shoes, gloves, headpieces, special jewelry and/or jackets when considering a dress. All of this adds up and can become quite costly.

• Consider a gown in the $100-$300 price range to make it affordable for most attendants (unless you plan to pay for all the dresses). Paying (all or part) for the dress is a possible option instead of then needing to purchase an attendant's gift.

• If you have attendants who are located in different parts of the country and can't come to be properly fitted at a store by you, shop in a chain store so that you can be guaranteed you are all looking at the same dress and so that fittings can be done locally for them.

• Look for online sources, at least to select photos of styles you like, to show to your bridal party. Remember, a picture's worth a thousand words.

• To save money, check out the prom department of your department store. You're likely to find flattering, modern designs without the price tag found in bridal shops. And, if it's a national chain, it's possible to order dresses shipped from other stores if you can't find the same dress for each woman in your bridal party at the one store.

• While it's becoming increasingly rare for attendants to wear headpieces, use the same care in choosing those as you would for selecting the gown. (I remember always wanting my bridal party to wear picture hats. However one of my bridesmaids said they didn't suit her. I thought she must have been exaggerating. So when we looked for the dress, I had her try on a matching hat. She was right. She looked terrible in it. But it was more important to have her happy in her outfit than fulfilling my dream of what my bridal party would look like.)

Keep these suggestions in mind, and when you and your attendants walk down the aisle on your wedding day, you'll all hear sounds of appreciation, not giggles and groans.